I started this one today. I'm not sure where it's going to go. I'll let you know... but the leaf was picked and dried by my mom who collected a bunch for me last fall. The branches I found while going for a walk with her in early winter...

New Growth

The trees outside my balcony are finally starting to bud. This means that within a few weeks I will have green leaves completely surrounding me, so dense that I cannot see across to my neighbors. Friends tell me it feels like we're on a treehouse when we sit outside. When's the last time you were on a treehouse?

This spring has been amazing for me. Just like the buds on my trees, internally, I am also bursting out of my form. I am changing, I am ready for change. I want to change. I love. Never so much before. And it's just growing. We only get better when we can see the lessons that are presented to us. I'm already seeing gifts that I am openly receiving with open arms.

Have the Courage...

to know what you want and to verbalize it:

I want to love and be loved...

that's not so unusual is it?

I Believe...

In Love...

Less is More

I hung this one up on my wall today and liked it, deciding not to add anything more. It was a time of appreciating what I have, not forcing things, they are beautiful as they are.

Gearing Up; JUST DO IT

I am gearing up for my cleanse. There will be a two week process before I begin my seven day liquid fast. I have to wrap my head around drinking that nasty combination of bentonite clay and psyllium husk shakes. If not for the addition of lemon or pure cranberry juice, it is unbearable. But worth it. I've done the fast two times before and it is a discipline all of it's own. I need it though, and I'm ready for it. Somehow, I feel very determined to achieve the things I've been wanting to do but putting off. "JUST DO IT..."

I started doing artwork last spring. I'd never considered myself to have much of a creative bone in my body. The only things I had done were a bit of creative writing and photography. But never have I ever produced anything on canvas nor did I think I was ever capable. "I'm just not the artist type", I always thought. But it was at an exhibit by a class of Chinese college students in Bangkok, 2006 that I was particularly drawn to a series of black, white, red and grey mixed-media/decoupage pieces. I immediately understood how color and form came together and promised to experiment when I got home. After collecting blank canvases, paint given to me by donation from my artist friends, collecting various clippings, wrapping paper and even newspaper from India and Laos, and perousing the aisles of Opus looking for sales on brushes I finally started my first piece in the spring of 2010. Since I had been collecting all these supplies since 2006 I realized I had been stalling all this time. I'd always wanted to start, really. But it was easy to say that I couldn't begin until I went out and found this piece first and then that piece later. Then one night I was sitting around in silence, the tv was off, I was tired of staring at the computer screen, it was cold and dark out, the phone was silent and I started to think about the box of accumulated art supplies. I was literally tired of not having the nerve to just get up and attempt something that I so badly wanted to do, and for such a long time. "Just F*****' do it!" I had a small puff, and just went blindly at it. It's like letting yourself fall, you can't stop yourself in mid-air so you may as well enjoy the ride and be conscious about it. I even called my mom and arranged the pieces while I was talking to her, things accidentally falling where they shouldn't have but ending up with happy accidents, blotches of paint where they weren't originally planned, adding surprisingly nice finishing touches. I've created only 12 pieces but some have said that this first piece is the best... :)

A few years ago I was at an extremely healing place where I was doing my 7 day fast, at the famous Spa on Koh Samui. Yoga and all sorts of courses and workshops were constantly being offered to help one through the transitions that were occurring: physical and emotional releases along with a flowering of the soul. I once volunteered myself to star at the centre of a family constellation workshop. The person leading the group had asked for volunteers but no one would budge or offer themselves. "I don't want to be afraid", I thought. I don't want to be the person that just stands and watches things happen. Then it felt like I had been lightly pushed and stumbled a few steps into the circle with a slight delayed reaction of putting my hand up in the air and saying, "I'll do it!" Needless to say, it was also very worth it, very healing, it smoothed a few scars and was very moving for the whole group. I didn't know this, but some had wept during the process. There was a sense of raw, uncensored energy being released, not just by me. For days later, I had people coming up to me, sharing that they had similar issues that they were now not afraid to address. It was a sort of revelation. It changed the dynamic of all who were present. Some were encouraged to take private sessions while others, previously people I hadn't spoken much to before the workshop, developed a closer connection with me. Today, I came across an ad for a family constellation workshop in the latest issue of Common Ground. It is nice to recall that experience...

The Power of Breath and the Massage

I massaged 6 people today and I must say, there weren't any energy vampires present. It was a rare occasion where everyone was very aware, open, cooperative and inviting of the opportunities of what the breath would bring. I gained a lot of myofascial openings encouraged by very conscious breathing on the part of the client. I observed how the quality of the release was directly proportional to the quantity of the inhale. The larger the inhale, the more the body expanded, and the more room the fascia could bounce back with a release. Of course, I notice this in yoga too. As a seque, it has made me even more conscious of my own breath in my own yoga practice.

During another yin yoga class tonight after work, I was grateful of how the yin counteracted the yang of my work: releasing pelvic rotations, stuck ribs, and adhered suboccipitals while trying to help the clients achieve full body relaxation in 60 minute. After the infrared sauna, it is really nice to sit and hold positions when I've been running around the massage table all day. Something interesting happened with the hip openers that I've been doing in class; I have had flat feet all my life but the poses have resulted in my arches actually having more lift. Amazing...It pays to address things from many disciplines and angles.

Another thing happened in class tonight, the teacher played a "Wonderwall" cover by Ryan Adams. I used to listen to that song a lot and thought it was one of the best covers ever. Even the Oasis brothers thought that this version was better than theirs. It's not so much about the lyrics for me, it's a hauntingly beautiful song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gVxRvNfFLg